What I Learned from My Friend’s Ovarian Cancer Diagnosis

In July 1979, shortly after moving into the house where my father still lives, the girl across the street knocked on the back door in search of a playmate. My Mom encouraged me to go outside and play with her. But I recognized her as the effervescent girl in the Wonder Woman bathing suit dancing in the locker room before swim class at the local high school. She was then and continued to be larger than life, and my introverted self was apprehensive. After some hesitation, I went out to play. We were friends for 38 years.

Kelly is a colorful thread woven through the fabric of my memory. She was true and loyal —the kind of friend with whom laughter came easy and whose companionship brought confidence to awkward teenage years. We grew up together and became integral parts of each other’s families. On July 3, 2017, she passed away.

Ovarian cancer is known as the silent killer because the symptoms are often vague, contributing to a delay in detection. My friend experienced common symptoms that could easily be mistaken for other gastrointestinal conditions, including bloating, feeling full quickly, and fatigue. When Kelly was diagnosed with epithelial ovarian cancer (the most common and aggressive type), her doctor referred her to an oncologist. Kelly trusted her doctor, and in fear and shock, she understandably followed the path urgently laid out for her.

The Importance of a Second Opinion

Surgery followed by chemotherapy has been the standard of care for ovarian cancer for decades. Due to late detection, the cancerous epithelial cells that cover the ovaries often grow into nearby organs or shed into the abdomen, making surgery for this advanced-stage cancer an imperfect tool. As Kelly’s oncologist explained, "salt and pepper" cancer remained after the resectable tumors were removed.

The Roswell Park Cancer Institute (RPCI) website states, “The single most important factor in determining your prognosis is the success of your very first treatment — typically surgery. You have only one chance at a first treatment.”  Our failure to get a second opinion sooner rather than later was a critical mistake in Kelly’s care.

We later learned that advancements had been made in the treatment of ovarian cancer, and surgery at RPCI would have included a “chemo wash.” Essentially, after the tumors were removed, the abdomen would have been bathed in a chemotherapy drug to kill the “salt and pepper” cancer that remained. However, Kelly’s oncologist was either unaware of this new treatment or incapable of performing the surgery, so Kelly received the standard-of-care treatment.

While Kelly went into remission after treatment, it was not long before the cancer returned. She then moved her care to the doctors at RPCI. A surgeon at the hospital agreed to try surgery with the chemo wash, but as soon as he opened her abdomen, he closed her up. The cancer had spread.

The Benefits of a Cancer Hospital

While there are many medical groups with an oncology practice, a second opinion at a cancer hospital is critical when navigating something as complex and challenging as a cancer diagnosis. The following advantages at a cancer hospital are essential for making informed decisions:

1. Access to Specialized Expertise—Deep experience can lead to a more accurate diagnosis and a tailored treatment plan.
2. Comprehensive Diagnostic Tools – High-resolution imaging, genetic testing, and pathology reviews can refine your diagnosis, identify specific cancer subtypes, and guide targeted therapies.
3. Innovative Treatment Options - Many cancer hospitals are at the forefront of research and clinical trials. They may offer access to new treatments, drugs, or procedures not widely available elsewhere.
4. Multidisciplinary Approach - Cancer hospitals use a team-based approach involving specialists like medical oncologists, radiation oncologists, surgeons, and pathologists, who collaborate to provide a comprehensive treatment plan.
5. Confirmation or Adjustment of Your Diagnosis - A second opinion can confirm the original diagnosis and treatment plan or suggest alternatives to help ensure you’re on the best possible path to recovery.
6. Access to Support Services - These hospitals often provide various support services, including counseling, nutrition advice, and rehabilitation, to help you holistically manage your treatment and recovery.
7. Peace of Mind - Knowing that you’ve explored all options and received input from leading specialists can reduce anxiety and give you confidence in your treatment decisions.

 Lessons Learned

Hindsight is 20/20. It frustrates and angers me to no end to look back and see our mistakes with such evident clarity. It was a learning experience, and Kelly did not get the benefit. However, the experience was ingrained deeply in my soul and served me well as I navigated my mother’s cancer diagnosis years later. Time and reflection have distilled this heartbreaking experience with Kelly into vital insights worth sharing:

• The Importance of Early Detection: Ovarian cancer symptoms are often vague and easily misinterpreted. Awareness of subtle symptoms can lead to earlier detection and better outcomes.
• The Necessity of a Second Opinion: Always seek a second opinion, especially for complex diagnoses like cancer. Fear and shock can cloud judgment during a diagnosis. It is crucial to pause, gather information, and explore options to avoid regrettable decisions.
• Specialized Care Matters: Choosing a specialized cancer hospital with access to the latest advancements, expertise, and treatment methods can dramatically affect outcomes.
• The Evolution of Medical Treatments: Medical advancements may not be widely known or available. Patients and caregivers should actively inquire about new or alternative treatment options.
• Cherish Your People: Simply said, love them. Rise to the challenge during the difficult times that illness brings. These times are temporary, but every gesture of comfort, every late-night vigil, and every shared laugh become the precious moments that live on in your heart and the subconscious of your dreams.

Kelly was an elementary school teacher and a volunteer, the first person to lend a helping hand. In typical Kelly style, she participated in clinical trials toward the end of her life, hoping the research might help future patients. These lessons I have shared honor her memory and carry forward her generous spirit. I think she would like that.