When I was in high school, my basketball coach suggested to my mom that weightlifting could improve my game. In what was likely a reflection of the time during which she was raised, my mom responded that no daughter of hers would be lifting weights. That was the end of the conversation.
As evidence that times change, and as Tibetan Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön stated, "Nothing and no one is fixed," 40 years later, my mother's daughter is now lifting weights. However, the goal is no longer to execute a cross-court pass that won't fall short and result in a turnover. Instead, my primary driver is the strength to be an active grandparent as I age.
What began as a practical pursuit has unexpectedly transformed my life beyond the physical. It has become a powerful tool I use to support my mental and emotional health. I've learned that strength training isn't just about getting up off the floor while holding a toddler; it's also about cultivating resilience, focus, and self-worth.
The Therapeutic Power of Choosing Difficulty
While the internet is full of information about strength training's physical benefits as we age—preserved bone density, maintained muscle mass, improved balance—the mental health advantages receive far less attention. This oversight is unfortunate, as the psychological impact can be equally transformative.
There's something deeply therapeutic about voluntarily doing hard things. In a world where comfort is often sought at all costs, deliberately choosing difficulty becomes revolutionary. Each gym session represents a conscious decision to embrace challenge and welcome temporary discomfort for long-term strength.
Far from being merely physical exertion, lifting becomes a practice of focused mindfulness. Using heavy weights to the point of muscle fatigue may not seem meditative at first glance—but it is. Each movement requires full attention. When pushing tired muscles through that final set, one cannot afford to let the mind wander to yesterday's argument or tomorrow's presentation. The body demands presence.
During difficult life seasons, a strength training routine provides refuge. The predictable progression of warm-up, work sets, and cool-down creates structure. Physical exertion offers relief from racing thoughts. Perhaps most importantly, setting and achieving small goals—adding weight to a deadlift, mastering proper form on overhead presses—reminds us of our capacity to make progress when other areas of life feel stagnant.
While lifting can be solitary, it also connects people to unexpected communities—from mutual nods of respect with regulars at the gym to online forums where beginners learn about programming and nutrition. Friendships formed with fellow lifters of all ages and backgrounds provide both support and perspective—reminders that we're all works in progress, all learning to carry our various weights with more grace.
The Biochemistry of Strength Training
Beyond these social and psychological benefits, compelling science explains why lifting makes us feel better at a fundamental level. The positive impact of strength training on mental health isn't just anecdotal—it's biochemical. Research confirms what many experience: regular resistance training helps regulate stress hormones like cortisol while encouraging the release of natural mood enhancers like endorphins.
These chemical shifts create both immediate benefits—that post-workout sense of accomplishment and calm—and long-term changes in brain structure and function that support emotional resilience. Studies show improvements in everything from mood and self-esteem to memory and overall cognitive function, especially as we age.
The science is clear: strength training doesn't just build muscle; it builds minds. The focused attention required activates brain regions associated with executive function. The progressive challenge promotes neuroplasticity—the brain's ability to form new connections and adapt. And the achievement of goals, no matter how small, reinforces neural pathways associated with motivation and reward.
Lifting for Life: How to Begin Your Journey
Starting can be daunting, especially when it seems everyone at the gym knows what they're doing except you. The good news is, strength training doesn't require specialized equipment or an athletic background—just the willingness to try something new and the fortitude to persevere. Here's how to start:
• Begin with bodyweight: Master fundamental movements like squats, lunges, push-ups, and planks before adding external loads.
• Prioritize technique over weight: Perfect form serves better than heavier loads with compromised movement patterns. Consider working with a qualified trainer initially to learn proper technique.
• Focus on compound movements: Exercises that work multiple muscle groups simultaneously—deadlifts, squats, rows—offer the greatest physical and mental returns on investment.
• Honor recovery: Rest days aren't optional; they're when adaptation happens. Listen when your body whispers to avoid hearing it scream.
• Find purpose beyond aesthetics: When motivation wanes, return to deeper purpose. Whether it's aging with independence, managing stress, or simply feeling stronger in daily life, connecting to meaning sustains practice.
In a world often heavy with expectations and uncertainties, there's empowerment in becoming strong enough to carry your own weight—and sometimes, a bit more. Four decades after my mother declared that "no daughter of hers would be weightlifting", I find myself grateful for this practice that strengthens not just my aging body but also my mind and spirit.
The weights I lift today support more than my goal of active grandparenthood; they build my capacity to navigate life's challenges with greater resilience and presence. What began as a physical pursuit has become a cornerstone of my emotional wellbeing—proof that, as Pema Chödrön wisely noted, nothing and no one is fixed. We are all capable of transformation, of finding unexpected strength in new places, and of discovering that sometimes, the heaviest things we lift aren't barbells at all, but the weights we carry within. And just like in the weight room, we grow stronger with every lift.